I need to practise what I preach. This week I have felt the full onslaught of being back at work and arrived at Friday feeling very tired and pretty negative about the whole back to work process. I spent the journey home on Friday night (on a hot hot train) wondering whether I've made a big mistake in my choices and generally talking myself into believing my own negativity. I never expected it to be easy, particularly given the lovely break I've just had, but I'd forgotton how hard any transition is and as usual have set unrealistically high expectations of myself to just slip back into work with barely a ripple.
Anyway, roll on two days, a bit of persepective and time with Glenn and the girls and I'm feeling much better. Top tips for the next few months:
1. Accept that my diary is not my own for the time being but that it will come into line in due course.
2. Don't set my own expectations too high - I can only do what is feasible in the time I have so beating myself up on the other stuff is a pointess exercise.
3. Remembering how positively I was perceived through the recruitment process - everybody wants me to be a success so I just need to bear that in mind - it's ok to ask for help and push back where I don't have the answers or the context.
4. Build in flexibility - one day working at home a week makes all the difference to reflect, catch up and recharge. These days are going back in my diary now!
One of the activities that continues to be a massive help is cycling. It allows time for reflection, but also the physical nature of being on my bike always provides such clear analogies - the importance of setting goals, managing my energy for the long term, mastering the basics so that they become second nature and remembering to celebrate successes.
Of course more important that all of this is Glenn, Abi and Izzys who are as mad and wonderful as ever. This weekend we have mainly been enjoying the weather - a real mix of thundery storms and bright sunshine. The girls are loving their new trampoline and even more so the new ride on tractor Glenn bought them on Friday. I got home to shouts of "Mummy, look at this!!!" followed by Izzy telling me how much it cost. I might have been concerned, other than the price she gave me was a little over inflated and the sheer pleasure on their faces all weekend as they have driven around the garden with babies in the back. More concerning was watching as Izzy drove full pelt under the tranpoline, both of them ducking at the last moment to avoid taking their heads off. Gulp - I fear the driving lessons in years to come!
This evening we have been putting pictures up in our bedroom and gym - marking the end of the grand transformation for a couple more rooms - hooray! While Glenn and I measured and drilled, Abi dropped to the floor in the gym and started doing sit ups. Amazingly she did about 20 in a row with us watching open mouthed. Izzy then had a go - she managed 2 - and complained it's not that easy. I agree! Abi followed this with a few press ups and 100 squats. Any normal person would ache in the morning - we'll she how she fares.
So, back to work tomorrow and I'm going to repeat my mantra of positive mental attitude. This was never going to be easy and I just need to give it time and make the most of all that I have as an antidote to the madness of the working week.
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