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It's oh so quiet...


 
It's oh so quiet without Abi in the house, and we are missing her! Yesterday I set off to Salisbury with my little baby - all ready to embark on her first properly independent trip without us and it felt far too soon for this. Izzy was at a sleepover with Aran which meant Abi and I had some lovely time to ourselves before she went. We had a long chat about how she was feeling - apprehensive but excited as you might imagine. She had butterflies in her tummy but was also looking forward to a whole week of horses and all things horse like. We talked about Imposter Syndrome - she was amazed that the rest of us aren't ultra confident all the time - I wish! As we got closer to Angie's Abi turned to me and said "You're not going to be weird Mummy are you?!" As if! As it was despite the nerves as soon as we arrived she was out the car like a bullet and straight into Merlin's stable to start grooming him. It was as though she had been there only 5 minutes ago. We agreed that it would be best not to ring yesterday evening (for her not me) and so the first time I spoke to her was this evening when I got home from work. She came to the phone very clearly smiling from ear to ear, full of what she'd been up to. The weather hasn't been brilliant so they didn't ride today and when I asked whether that was a problem she said "Of course not, we've been too busy!". I'm sure I'm paying for her to be a slave for the week!

I do appreciate that this will be a brilliant experience for her. One of my jobs as a parent to help her stretch her boundaries and give her the confidence to believe she can do new things. I would hate to have her clinging to me, unable to face the world, so this is a great way of helping her build not only new skills and confidence, but also a network of people which she may maintain for life. She will always be my baby though and I will freely admit the house feels less whole without her.

On the other hand, Izzy is loving having lots of time with us and (in between the tears of "I miss Abi!") she has been making the most of it. This evening I took her up to bed and I will admit it was very relaxing to lie on her bed with her chatting and not feeling the pressure to split my time between the two of them (they measure exactly how long I've spent in the other's room and then complain about favouritism...). While I miss Abi, it's nice for Izzy not to be competing - I think it will help her to be a bit more grown up - she's inevitably the baby as the youngest in the house - and a bit more individual. She's also milking it with friends - she has a number of sleepovers lined up, play dates and trips out with Daddy while I'm at work - she could get used to this!




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