Guilt!

The Vyne, Basingstoke

It's been oh so quiet this week as the entire family apart from me has been on fun trips while I held the fort (note from Izzy - "why do you always start your blog so weirdly - who even says 'oh so quiet?' anyway?!"). Glenn disappeared early on Sunday morning with George for a week in the Alps cycling, then I had to drop Abi off at 5am on Monday, also to go to France, with Izzy following at a much more sociable 8am to have half a day in school before going to the PGL camp at Swindon.  So one by one they disappeared and the house got quieter and quieter (and tidier and tidier!) - bliss, or not...

In my imagination this week was going to be wall to wall sunshine and I was planning on working from home with the doors thrown open and lots of catching up on things I've had on my work to-do list for a while. I had booked some extra yoga classes in the evenings, a sports massage and the week would pass in a flash. In truth the house felt very empty and the weather was rubbish so I ended up with doors firmly shut, working with a jumper on (it's June for goodness sake!), missing the lack of adult conversation. Work conference calls just aren't the same as a quick chat in the work kitchen or being able to step from my study to the kitchen have have a natter with Glenn.

On the plus side, the extra yoga was fab, the massage was lovely and I've run nearly every day. The house was spotless all week, the dogs have loved having me at their beck and call all week (well, Freya anyway who by Friday had become permanently glued to my side / feet). I proved that the hassle of getting into the office is worth it for the connection with co-workers - I don't think I'm cut out for working from home more than a couple of days a week!

Originally Izzy was the first due home on Friday afternoon, followed by Abi late on Friday night, then Glenn on Saturday evening. In the end Glenn and George came back a day early as the weather turned and they wanted to finish on a high after 5 days of fantastic (super hilly) riding. The house therefore went from ghost like to looking like a church hall post jumble sale with everyone's bags, washing and kit strewn through the utility room and kitchen - so much for tidy!

So after looking after the house, dogs and guinea pigs all week the deal had always been that I would

go off with Zsara on Sunday to visit a garden and have a few hours walking and talking. This had been agreed and talked about but when it comes to it, why is it then the kids look at me and say "what about us?" Yesterday Abi went off to Mia's while I was at yoga and then complained when I said she had to come home at 6pm rather than staying over (not least because she was knackered), arguing I wasn't going to be here anyway on Sunday. Despite the fact that I arranged not to meet until 11, it's now 10am and Abi still isn't out of bed, Typical! Just to top it off she casually said "I was hoping we could have gone to a NT garden ourselves Mummy, but you just think about yourself...!" Deep breath as I know that if I had even suggested we have a family day out to a NT property I would clearly be going on my own. Despite this I still went to bed feeling guilty even though I know it's silly. I am allowed to do the things I enjoy doing regardless of what my family want of me!

Anyway, picking this up after a lovely walk through a beautiful NT property to get home and find that everyone is fine and no-one missed me at all. I knew I was right to go.