Calmer times

So after an emotional week of getting used to there being only one set of paws following us around and greeting us at the door, we are now able to appreciate the calm that has descended on the house. Much as we miss Freya with her ways, we have come to appreciate just how much less stressful it is when we don't have to worry about how she will react to whatever new threat she has got hung up on.

Bertie has taken to the change incredibly well. I'm not sure whether he is missing her and is just is very good at hiding it, but he has been working his hardest to be the best dog in the world. He has been loving having lots of long walks (in the daylight!), meeting new people and being allowed to do things that have previously been out of bounds. On Thursday we went to a friend's house and walked with their 2 dogs which, apart from a few tussles at one point when they were being washed off, went without a hitch. He had a ball charging around with them, and once they realised Freya wasn't involved they accepted him and it was a great walk. We were even able to stay for a cup of tea afterwards without having to lock the dogs in the van for safe keeping. Today Kerrie came for lunch with Gracie.

Previously this meant we had to shut our two in the study because the dynamics just didn't work with the 3 of them, but this time Bertie and Gracie had a big game outside first, then came in and after lots of cuddles Gracie ended up asleep on Bertie's bed with him next to us while we chatted - again, no drama at all.

The kids have also been enjoying this calmer environment. On Friday we went to our first bonfire night in 3 years, obviously we have spent the last couple of years sitting in the boot cupboard in our utility room with Freya as she shivered and shook her way through any loud noises. We've just booked a couple of nights in a dog friendly cottage in Somerset before Christmas. We plan on long walks on the beach and lost of visiting family - with Bertie in tow. Obviously that's me and the girls - Glenn is taking his bike of course!

Upshot of all of this is that while we miss her, we don't miss her. It's sad but we are feeling the benefits. Even I, who was her biggest protector, can safely say that I'm relishing the change. All this said I'm still feeling very bruised, can't look at a photo of her and certainly wouldn't entertain the idea of a replacement for a long time yet. Another upside is that it has brought us closer together as a family. I think seeing me so upset has helped the kids to see (even if it's only temporarily) that I have feelings too and they seem less inclined to ride roughshod over them day in day out. Abi has been particularly protective of me this week - nice to have your kids look out for you once in while when you do it every day for them.

In between all of this work is frantically busy as I try and wind up and close out. Having booked a week off in December to make sure there is a hard stop, I now have 5 weeks left to get everything sorted. The good news is that my master plan of an interim replacement is all in place and, assuming they can agree on commercials, will be up and running in the new year. I've met my new team and they all seem very positive about the changes and me coming on board. I also met my PA (yippee, I have help again!!), and some of the Finance team - so far so good. I'm looking forward to it.

So despite everything there's a lot of positivity. We may have lost Freya but we know we did our best and against what others experience, we are so lucky to have all we do.  Rather than dwelling on we've lost, I'm grateful for all we have.

Completely sparko after 2 long walks, games with Gracie
and all the chicken roast leftovers!